Friday, March 4, 2011

rite of passage


I decided at a very young age that my first official act as an adult would be to purchase a jar of Nutella and eat the whole thing in one go with a spoon. I attribute this to my ruthlessly restricted access to the delicious substance as a child. Now at the tender age of 22, and nearing the end of my time in the bubble of education, the word 'adult' is looming over my head. I imagine it like an Acme anvil in the Bugs Bunny cartoons, except the adult anvil is made up of loads of important documents, bank statements, insurance forms, account details, mortgage documents, pension plans, the sort of things I will definitely lose, which will cause me to get into loads of trouble and not have any money or proof of existence.

Thank god for the Nutella loophole.

I am comforted, firm in the belief that I am exempt from adulthood until I have completed this gluttonous act. So I don't ever buy Nutella, just in case. Best not tempt fate.

Congratulations, you are an adult


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