THINNER! FASTER! SLIPPERIER! iPad2: what's not to love?! I feel a bit sorry for the iPad1 - it didn't last very long, (although ultimately I feel both products are ridiculous and just asking to be sat on.) I wrote a poem evoking a presupposition of the relationship of iPad1 to the iPad2.
(To be read at a solemn yet tasteful ceremony by Bill Murray, who will take me to dinner afterwards.)
By Sarah Gordon
O, Thinner! Lighter!
Faster data transfer capabilities; eternally enshrin'd
in thy gilded semblance
thy youth and affinity
cite my own mortality;
I dare not chide:
I am old and fat and slow,
Discarded like so many a redundant Apple product
Lo! Flame retardant, bulletproof, vegan, presumably,
Made from nought but recycled teabags
and hedge clippings, probably;
My wretched despair lies with me, at the back of the cupboard
We each but half of a whole
Together could, perhaps, make one
There is of course a gaping hole in the market, which I think needs addressed:
Have you eaten any pancakes today? Quickly! Eat some!