Once i was making a Victoria Sponge and I found an eariwig in the flour. We didn't have any other flour and I couldn't get to a shop, so I called my Granny, (Granny Sadie Mum), to ask her opinion and she said, "Oh I wouldn't worry about that, it won't do you a button of harm. Just pick it out and don't tell anyone."
She gave me her cookbook as a present. It has some fabulous recipes for things like aspic and deviled eggs. I cooked all the cakes in it for a project last year. We used to go to her house every Sunday for lunch/dinner (the nameless meal eaten on a Sunday around 4.00, the title changing depending on the family), and eat our body weight in roast potatoes. We had rhubarb tart and apple tart and single cream and jelly and ice cream in aluminium bowls for dessert. The bowls were quite small so you had to take 4 goes to get one of everything. By the time everybody had stopped eating and the dishes were done it was about 7.00 so we watched the Antiques Roadshow.
This is a drawing of my other Granny (Granny Ironing), who has a bad hip, and a walking frame with brakes on it (which I think, to be honest, is a bit optimistic.)
Sometimes when we are all watching tv, we hear a high pitched squeaking sound and we all look around at each other and rattle our heads and poke our ears and gradually realise it is Granny's hearing aid, so we look at her. She pretends not to notice. She says things like, "Nobody in the world is ever more than seven feet from a rat." She used to have a small white dog called Mindy.When Mindy died, she got another dog that looked exactly the same and called it Penny.
Both Mindy and Penny's ashes rest in urns above her gas fireplace which is always on.
RIP Mindy and Penny: dead but never cold.